Recently, I have been on a major wrestling DVD kick, watching compilations and documentaries from all the big companies, whether it be WWE, TNA or ROH. To name but a few, I highly enjoyed ‘CM Punk: Best in the World’, ‘Stone Cold Steve Austin: The Bottom Line’, ‘The Epic Journey of Dwayne The Rock Johnson’ and so on. Some recent, some from years gone by.
Anyway, this got me thinking (a dangerous notion but give me a chance). Last year, TNA pulled off a nifty little trifecta with ‘Immortal Forever?’, ‘Mick Foley: Hardcore Legend’ and ‘Enigma: The Best of Jeff Hardy Volume 2’. But then…nothing. In the entirety of 2012, TNA have failed to release a single DVD outside of bog standard pay-per-views.
With the market leader, WWE, releasing new DVD sets seemingly every other week, it strikes me that TNA are missing a trick here. Admittedly, it’s extremely likely that this lack of new material is down to financial constraints. It’s a tough economy and TNA’s finances have long been fuel for the rumour mill. But with even a relative small fry like Ring of Honor (no offense) regularly releasing sets to capitalise on their popular stars, TNA could do with pulling their thumb out of their arse and getting a move on.
In this spirit, I thought I’d create a bit of a wish list for TNA. Someone may notice it, someone may not, either way it’s all in good fun. First, I’ll start with the big obvious proven concepts that’d be sure to sell DVDs like gangbusters. After that, we’ll have a bit of a play with the format and name a few nightmarish potentials that’d have you running for the remote. It’s Halloween after all, you all deserve a bit of a fright!
Let us begin…
THE WISH LIST
THE GREATEST MAN THAT EVER LIVED: THE BEST OF AUSTIN ARIES
You have to admit, Austin Aries has had an undeniably spectacular past couple of years. Originally on the brink of retirement from professional wrestling, Aries received a call from TNA on the eve of their first spotlight Destination X pay-per-view. They needed recognisable names to bolster their X-Division-only show and who better than A Double. Quickly winning himself a contract, Aries took a hold of the X Division like no other before him and refused to let go. He dominated for a year straight, remaining the undefeated Champion all the way up til this year’s Destination X. After a string of impressive David and Goliath contests against larger opponents, Aries had earned the respect of management and the fans alike. Making the decision to have him win the TNA World Heavyweight Championship all the easier. This rags to riches story would be downright inspirational to the common fan, not to mention a wonderful excuse to collect Aries’ classic matches against Bully Ray, Samoa Joe, Bobby Roode, etc. Giving him such a set would also elevate him no end in the eyes of the Impact Wrestling audience. Compilation sets such as this are saved for the heavy hitters, so listing Aries among them not only feels right, but is a huge compliment.
BEER VS MONEY: JAMES STORM VS BOBBY ROODE
Just over a year ago, the most elaborate and thoughtful feud in TNA’s decade long history began. Whatever your opinion of the two men in question, they have been the backbone of Impact Wrestling for as long as I can remember. Frankly, it’s hard to imagine there was a time before them. As the tag team, Beer Money, they were always entertaining and wouldn’t you just know it, so was their breakup. At the time, I would’ve advised caution, fearing the loss of the hottest tag team in professional wrestling, but knowing how it turned out, I’m glad they pulled the trigger, as the business is better off for it. Out of the ruins of a tag team came the birth of ‘The Cowboy’, ‘The IT Factor’ and two legitimate main event talents. Stretching from one Bound for Glory to another, what better story to have immortalised to represent your company than this one. Special mention goes to their epic confrontations at this year’s Lockdown and BFG, two classic bouts that hit all the right notes.
WRESTLING MATTERS HERE: THE VERY BEST OF IMPACT WRESTLING
Rather than focus on one or two particular wrestlers, this set would take advantage of the very best matches the Impact Wrestling video library has to offer. Pour in all the love and attention TNA can muster, as this would be a wonderful promotional tool and a travelling billboard to preach the virtues of this product over any other. Going forward from the re-branding of the show in May 2011, there have to be plenty of five star pay-per-view quality TV main events ripe for the picking. Frequently whilst watching an average episode of Impact Wrestling, I’m taken aback by their willingness to give away such a high standard of match on free television instead of spending several weeks or months building up to it. Typically, this attitude springs from their business model being geared towards popping a TV rating over selling the pay-per-view, so to be able to re-use a number of these matches and make some extra coin, I can’t see how anyone would argue.
TNA IN THE UK
Over the years, I’ve seen WWE capitalise on recent UK tours more times than I can count. Such a DVD takes minimal effort on everyone’s part, as it’s basically repackaging episodes of a show that’s already aired in it’s completed form. However, I’m not suggesting TNA be quite so lazy with it. The United Kingdom is arguably the most rabid fanbase for TNA Wrestling the world over, America included. No offense to their home country, but how come it’s always struggling in the ratings over there and succeeding over here (just saying). This year alone, they had a sellout tour of the UK, in some of the biggest arenas we have to offer. For a product that is usually relegated to a piddly little sound stage in Florida, it never looked grander than in a packed house at Wembley Arena. They taped two episodes of Impact Wrestling at that show and it was by and far the most impressive TNA have ever looked in their ten year history. Following on from such overwhelming success, they’ll be repeating the feat in 2013. Only this time, it won’t just be the London show that’s taped, but the Manchester show as well! Put the four resulting episodes of Impact on a disc and you’ll have a professional looking product that could draw even the most cynical viewer in. Here’s hoping the content lives up to the surroundings!
THE ‘WHEN PIGS FLY’ NIGHTMARE LIST
THE CLARE LYNCH STORY: EVERY SORDID DETAIL – Remember this little gem? Yeah, we wish we didn’t either! Oh the memories. Where Kaz and Daniels sought to use poor defenseless drug-addled Clare to frame AJ Styles for having an affair with TNA President, Dixie Carter. In a plot so elaborate, it should’ve been nominated for an Emmy. Just who was this angle designed to get over? It couldn’t have been AJ, as it made him look like scum at every opportunity. It couldn’t have been Dixie, as she ducked out at first chance. It couldn’t have been Clare, as it damn near ruined her genuine modelling career due to TNA fans’ hatemail. Yep, that’s right, it put no one over. We spent months watching for nothing.
BROTHERLY LOVE: JOSEPH PARK & THE QUEST FOR ABYSS – Randomly one week, a rather familiar looking individual, albeit more sharply dressed than usual, turned up at the gates to the Impact Zone, demanding to see the person in charge. Who was this fellow, you ask? None other than Abyss himself with a haircut and a new suit. Only he’d clearly gone insane from one too many blows to the head. Instead of ‘The Monster’ we’d come to know and love, he identified himself as one Joseph Park, a relative of Abyss, looking for his brother, who had mysteriously gone missing months earlier. Ever since then, we’ve barely had a match out of either persona. They took a man known for taking the sickest bumps and made him…a non-wrestler? Of course, there’s the matter of that Black Hole Slam he pulled out of nowhere on Bully Ray, but sssssshhhhhhhhh, we’re not supposed to mention that.
BAM! – ODB & ERIC YOUNG IN ‘WHERE’S MY CHICKEN?’ – Several months ago, ‘Showtime’ Eric Young finally lived up to his moniker and moved out to Hollywood, where he fronted his own successful nature show. In doing so, he left his Knockout Tag Team Champion partner and Wife, high and dry. Worse still, he said he was coming back with a tub of Chicken any minute now. For weeks, this poor insanely large breasted woman would wait for a different kind of breast and be left wanting. Weeks would pass and no word from EY. Not even a phone call. I can’t even imagine the number of voicemails that must’ve involved on ODB’s part. It was a hilarious running joke across the summer, but what the hell does it say about the state of their marriage!
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